Let it go. Those three little words have helped me so much these past few months. (I know parents of little girls who love the movie Frozen will feel differently about this! haha!)

That’s because recently, I saw the quote “She took a deep breath and let it go,” and it stopped me in my tracks. I stared at it. Re-read it. Re-read it again. And then I did it: I took a deep breath and let it go.

Nothing has brought me the kind of relief as that simple action. You see, I’ve been holding onto a lot lately. Why did we have fertility issues? Why does Pete have rheumatoid arthritis? Why is it so severe? Why did this happen to us? Why can’t life just be easy?

I took these questions, zipped up each in a bag, threw them over my shoulder, and carried it all with me each and every day, adding new bags with each new question. Throughout the day, I’d open each bag, look inside, re-ask myself each question, dwell on it, and feel helpless because I couldn’t find an answer. I didn’t realize it, but all this baggage was weighing me down physically and mentally. I couldn’t carry anything else. I couldn’t think about anything else.

I held onto these questions because I couldn’t find answers. That’s what you do when you haven’t figured something out yet. Like a math problem, you think about it until you get the “a-ha moment,” remember the formula, and figure it out. But there will be things in life, that no matter how hard you think about them, no matter how many formulas you memorize, no matter how hard you study, no matter how much you research, no matter how much you work to resolve it, you just won’t figure it out. And those are the things you need to let go.

You can waste so much energy carrying around heavy baggage full of things you can’t figure out or change. But instead, use your precious energy to find your new normal and move on. That’s what I’ve learned is so important: the quicker you realize the things you can’t change and let them go, the quicker you can move on and start to enjoy life again.

It sounds cliche but life is way too short. There will be things that turn out differently than you planned. There will be issues you can’t resolve. People who don’t like you. Things you can’t change. Questions you can’t answer. And believe it or not, that’s ok. You don’t need to carry it around with you. You don’t need to figure it out. You just need to take a deep breath and let it go.