And now, as a toddler, who can stand on the bathroom counter and lean up against your reflection, you could spend hours (well, at least several minutes, but that’s like hours in toddler time) just staring, pointing at, and trying to lick/kiss that happy baby looking back at you in the mirror.
So, needless to say, we’ve been spending a lot of time in front of mirrors lately. And when we do, my mind eventually drifts… “Don’t forget to call the salon and make an appointment – your roots are showing.” “Wear some extra concealer today – your dark circles look extra dark this morning” “Pick up one of those microderm brushes – your pores look clogged.”
This morning, I sat you in front of the mirror, and my mind drifted as usual. Hair… pores… circles… BANG BANG BANG! All the sudden you were banging your hand on the mirror as if to get my attention, and then you cracked up just looking at yourself.
That’s when it hit me. There you were, enjoying the absolute fascination and pure joy you have with your own reflection while I was picking apart the person looking back at me. And I’m not even a self-loathing, low self esteem type. I actually make a concerted effort to be a strong, confident female role model through the things I do and say around you. But my inner voice still drifts.
It made me wonder if I was more like you when I was your age. I’m sure I was. At what point do we stop smiling at ourselves and being happy to see that reflection? Why do we think it’s narcissistic to actually like – to the point of wanting to kiss – what you see in the mirror? Who told us we need to start seeing the things we need to fix instead? Maybe no one in particular did. Maybe it didn’t happen overnight. But, eventually, it did happen.
That’s when I decided I wanted to be more like you. Just be genuinely happy to have another day where I get to look in that mirror and smile back. And maybe, on a good day, I’ll kiss myself and crack up – your signature move. 🙂